by Daniel Groot
Processing Transitions with Children
“Walking to School” by Sarah Groot
Went on a walk with my son, trying to clear my head.
He asked me what I needed to clear my head for and I shared
I wanted to write a poem or song or something about our time in Thailand.
Without a pause he responded in song,
“I went to Thailand
I went to Thailand
And I did some stuff,
Boom, there's your song.”
Hmm…. he’s not wrong.
In their first two years with Servant Partners, staff focus on language and cultural acquisition. In 2022-2023 I got the opportunity to experience this type of year while our family lived in Bangkok for 1 year.
Our 3 story townhouse faces the street. Every morning it fills with cars, motorcycles and pedestrians on their way to school and work. When things start to settle down I take a deep breath and step out of my door. It is time for me to go to school.
My education is local and focused. My teachers know their subject because they have been studying the topic since they were infants. I have the sentences and topics I want to practice and enter into the Suanphlu Community for the day’s lesson.
Almost every day I make a circuit of Baan Mankhong Suanphlu, talking to community members, and generally being an awkward American who seems to have too much time on his hands. They all understand that I am working on learning Thai, but still smile at me with gentle amusement.
The community is divided into 8 rows of housing divided in half by the main walking path. As I enter, Yai (Grandma) waves hello. Every morning she makes food to sell to people going to work. By the time I enter, the remnants of the morning sales are left on her table. She has lived in this neighborhood for her entire life. Her husband, who has passed, used to be a community leader. Her family has moved to a nicer neighborhood, but she sees this as home. She enjoys her rhythms of work and rest and lives into them with a smile on her face each day. She is delighted that I want to try her food and has taken to giving me free samples. Eating new foods is itself an education.
I make my way down the main walking path, saying hello to the day drinkers who enjoy each other's company, eat good food and play checkers all day. I am quite envious of the little community they have. Some of them work night shifts and are now relaxing before sleeping, others don’t work.
As I come to the end of the community I reach Lung and Ba Champi’s house. Every day Lung opens up shop, they are both tailors. Ba is often gone, to go take care of her granddaughter. I sit down with Lung and chat. Our time is full of a good amount of silence. He isn’t the talkative type, but he is hospitable with his space and allows me to sit with him. He and his wife moved from the north east of Thailand. They moved in when the community was still what was considered a slum or squatter community. Over time they have become respected leaders. Lung is gruff but has kind eyes. He will answer my questions, but I usually can’t understand half of what he says, so I record it and try to listen to it later.
When I excuse myself from Lung’s house I usually grab some lunch. I go back towards my house but on the path that borders the southern side of the community. On the right is the community center and on the left is P’ Ki’s noodle cart. Almost every day she opens to serve lunch to community members, nearby construction workers and office workers on break. She always seems a little bit frazzled, but is always gracious and chats with the regulars. If I don’t get noodles from her I go down the alleyway behind her cart to Ba _________ house. She cooks up most Thai dishes, from stir fried veggies, to basil pork, to Thai Suki. Across the alleyway from her is Lung _____ who is a barber. On Wednesdays he takes a day off from his shop, and cuts hair for folks from the neighborhood at a discounted price. His daughter moved to Australia and was finally able to come back to visit in the spring, after not being able to because of COVID and other reasons for many years. She split her time between her Lung and her mother (who are separated). He is a gentle man and like any good barber is also a good listener and question asker.
Once I’ve had lunch I go see if Jeap is home. In all of the Suanphlu Community Jeap takes her role as my teacher the most seriously. A graduate of a local English program she enjoys the idea of teaching me Thai as she got to learn English. Whenever I visit her she sits me down and she picks a topic and we practice for about an hour. She lives with her mom who is also her best friend. They run a shop out of their house and twice a day her mom piles goods on their cart and sells food around the neighborhood. Jeap asks the hard questions. She wants to know about my spiritual beliefs and shares about her own. She also loves to laugh, to tease her mom and to have fun.
It is now afternoon and I’m exhausted, but I see on my way out that P’ Ta has set up his Grilled Chicken stand and I know I have one last stop. P’DTa used to be a taxi driver before health issues forced him to stay at home. Now every day he wakes up and buys chicken from the market, marinates it and around 3 p.m. sells it until he runs out around 9 p.m. Every day he invites me to sit down and practice my Thai with him. As the neighborhood kids come home from school he welcomes them all by name and many buy chicken from him. I’ll sit at his table and we’ll chat until I get up to go see my kids at home.
My lessons are done, my brain hurts, and my heart is full. I am so grateful for my teachers in the community.
Bargaining
If you ever go to Chatuchak Market, be ready to bargain
All the hawkers, selling knock–off sports apparel, original art, succulents and saris
Can be worked with
To find a price that makes sense, for them and hopefully,
for you!
But how you enter the bargain…
What is your goal?
To win? That is to ‘beat’ the other
Who is selling things to you?
For to leave with a little more
money in your wallet
And not a relationship
You’ve won the battle but lost the war
What is lost
When we come to the bargaining table
Looking for a victory
Instead of a relationship
My father taught me that the bargain is a means to an end,
And that end is relationship
It is not finding a price, but finding a partner
That you can return to again and again,
Building trust, building friendship even
And if you come looking for relationship and find it
Then you’ve really won.
Daniel Groot is Servant Partners’s Regional Coordinator for Southeast Asia and works in SP’s Learning and Collaboration Department. He lives in Long Beach, California. Sarah Groot, his wife, painted him and their son walking in the Bangkok neighborhood.