I went searching for God
and I found Him at the gang-impacted youth center
down the street from my house.
I found God in the names:
Heaven, Angel, Isaiah meaning God saves,
Okesene meaning oxygen in Samoan—like the breath of God in our lungs
I found God in the kind and gentle presence of the young man
who welcomed me on my first day,
still grieving how his uncle had been killed
and grandfather died of depression in the same month
Image by Freddy Kearney
I found God in the unwavering faith of the young man who told me
my father abused me and my brothers our whole childhood,
but I know that God is my Protector.
I found God in the way my soul feels
all the burning and aching hearts for the love of a Father
and God’s words in Isaiah come to mind:
Do not fear for I have redeemed you,
I have called you by name, you are mine.
I found God in the smiles, laughter, and silliness
that pierce through the darkness—
those moments where there's enough safety
for their inner child to breathe again.
I found God in the faithfulness of the aging, resilient case manager
who spends six hours on dialysis every morning before her shift
and still holds on to hope
that someday God will provide a new kidney for her.
I found God in the sacred moment when three young men let themselves dream:
maybe one day we could be millionaires…
and use our money to bless and restore our youth center.
I found God in the cutting honesty of the young man reflecting why he chose to join a gang:
I was just looking for a family
I found God in the hopeful longing of the young woman
born into the violence of the gang life:
maybe someday there can be peace, even across enemy lines.
I found God in the love that swells up in my heart
when these young men labeled by society as violent, angry, and dangerous,
hold my 1 year old daughter with tenderness and joy
I went searching for God,
and I found Him on the margins of my city.
May we keep our eyes open to God's special presence and love
for those on the margins.
And may Heaven, Angel, Isaiah, and Okesene know their chosenness in the Kingdom of God
and one day lead their cities into healing.
Amen.
Annika John is part of the Servant Partners team in San Jose, California. She directs the Youth Squad at Shalom Iglesia del Pacto.